When my mind goes crazy all I can tell myself is to believe that good things don't come easy .
Thank you for pulling me out from my old life now I can finally see what I would want to achieve in life .

I have been hiatus away from my social networks , my friends (lol)
and I have come to realize that nobody gives a fuck . And why should I be sad over people who don't give a fuck ? Because I probably gonna have some good time with some other people I know along the way .

Who say I'm gonna be lonely ? I finally met someone who is my everything , my awesome girlfriend , my bitchy gossip patner ( not ? )  haha etc etc .

"But the one thing I wish I'd forget
 The memory I wanna forget ... is goodbye "

Weekends : Headed to JBS to watch Lions game ! Hands down boys , you guys played extremely well . 9-0 ?! Honestly i was too tired to even fist pump when the ball went in the goalpost .
& today , i play a triple bet and dare enough to put my money on portugal & GUESS WHAT .
Portugal won :')

& to you , you did extremely well on the pitch ! Remember you gotta keep trying , gotta keep your head held high because there's always gonna be another mountain . You always gonna make it move cus there's always gonna be a uphill battle that sometimes you have to lose . Its not about how fast you get there , its the climb . Ive seen your struggle , the chances you face . KEEP PUSHING ON .
YOU KNOW HOW PATHETIC I CAN BE , I GOT YOUR BACK ESPECIALLY AT YOUR LOWEST POINT .

So I have been actually watching the boy game recently and it seems like he change his style of playing , different team? different style huh?
Oh well , but whatever it is .... it was a great bounce back of 2-2 against malaysia yesterday ....

& guess what I quitted school zzz? its not surprising isnt it ? I really had a bad month for may ....
Like really bad . And my normal routine ? Party .. I have been partying the whole time @ attica that I felt like my face is likka poster .

Between me and shakir , im not sure if we are really over though since he keep on coming back everytime I wanna walk away but you know its okay because that break up make me closer to his friends .... So nothing actually bothers me because they are really nice .

So what is gonna be the surprise this june? Not expecting much but I smell something good :)

So i officially given up on everything . Why ?

Because Im done caring about people who dont care about me . I spend way too much time making sure everyone else is happy so i drive myself insane because I never have time to make sure I'm still happy , and Im done with feeling alone and unwanted every single . That's why

For you , SH

Life is full of temptations but I wasn't deceived by those things . You were ,
But didn't you realize that there are people who are also greater than you yet I chose you .
I chose you over other better boys out there but at the end of the day remember I wasnt the first one who give up on us , it was you . I repeat it was you .

I tried my best to stay but I don't see you trying at all .
It was you who wanted to be in my life so bad so I give you that chance but its okay I actually understand because I don't always do the right thing but I never tried being someone I'm not
and I know you can't handle my bad and good moment or my shattered life so since you're the one who give up on us and walk away , i wont hate you because well at least I understand how's reality like

That's the reason why I don't blame you because I blame myself for not being good enough .

mimpi yang sempurna

I do not know what went wrong these days but for what I know , I really love you .
You know why I hate sleeping now a days shakir ? Because finally my reality is better than dreams .
Finally spending every moment with you is more worth it than owning a hermes birkin .
I may not show how much I love you but deep down I do that's the reason why Im not giving up on us once . I may not cuddle you but Im actually wishing you would hug me tight every second .

I never thought I could settle down like this but finally for you I did .
I would walk a thousand mile to have your palm holding to mine .
I would swim an ocean you see that smile on your face .

I love you , Shakir Hamzah .......
I may not always say the right things always but when I say that I love you
I mean more than ever .



                                          y

for you shakir hamzah

You walked into my life, and stopped my suffering . You took my breathe away and that was sweetest thing i've seen . It's been a long time since i felt this way & I've never thought that you will put a smile on my face . Every late night calls, is nothing but us both .I just want you to know i'll never gonna leave you hanging all alone  .You brought me higher that i fall for you because i love everything about you  Can't you see that? It's love

Remember all the good times we had & reminising all the bad times , the problems we shared
i borrowed you my ears to listen to what you got to say everyday and night . You wanted to cry on your way back . Why? Is it because of me? You say i didnt care but i keep thinking of the pain u couldnt bear .


And since the day i saw ya i remember those features those couple of meetings that got me much closer other girls got jealous because your heart was like a palace now that I got you , I will need you
because shakir , there are no one like you who loves me like you do .